After I got so much feedback on my previous article about “kitesurfing and relationship” I decided to focus more attention to this issue. So I will pick out specific situations and problems which kite couples may experience from time to time. And, of course, I will try to offer tips and ideas how best to deal with such situations.
Kitesurfing and relationship Vol. 2.1
In the first article of tis new kitesurfing and relationship series I will focus on the following question:
What if …
… he’s jealous of her progress?
Sometimes it’s like that: The girlfriend of a kitesurfer starts to kite – and her learning curve is super steep. Her progress is much faster than his when he was learning. And suddenly she masters nearly as many tricks as he does. Or even more. Red alert?
Well, there are guys who simply stand above these things. They deserve congratulations (and I don’t mean that sarcastically, but rather admiringly).
But not every male ego can handle such a situation. Usually men are used to define themselves through their performance, particularly in sports. If the women on his side suddenly shows the same or even better performance, then for some guys this would be tantamount to a disaster.
In the worst case a guy then feels kind of emasculated. And to experience this he must not necessarily be a macho. Even men who are not macho-like at all can be affected from these unpleasant feelings! Even if they would never admit it. It can happen to anyone, wether he wants it or not.
This can lead to unpleasant consequences: For example that the guy tells his girlfriend not to try certain tricks cause they are “infinitely difficult and dangerous” – even though he knows that she would be very able to learn them … and they are not as hard as he claims. Everything just to minimize the risk that she could overtrump him.
Ok, this might be human … but come on, it’s nasty and dishonest! And such behaviours should not have place in a good relationship. If he wants to keep her from doing special tricks cause he is really worried about her, then ok – but this is another story.
Ego & anger vs. inspiration & peace of mind
So what can a guy do in such a situation? It would be good to realize how strongly this ego and jealousy thing impacts him. And to ask himself if he wants to be controlled from his ego all the time – or better focus on how lucky he is to have such a cool woman on his side? A woman to be very proud of?
Is it really so important to be always the “better” one? Isn’t its just exhausting? Of course it’s not the easiest task to get a grip on a rebellious ego, but regarding personal development this is a huge step. And to be honest, what’s more pleasant: Peace of mind and harmony or anger and relationship upsets?
F++k the ego and push your girl to shred!!!
The energy wasted on being jealous would be better invested in one’s own progress. And isn’t it cool to be with a girl who has the same kitesurf skills, to meet at eye level? So to speak a girlfriend/wife and kitebuddy, all in one! Could it be better?
Discussing new maneuvres or techniques can be super inspiring for both sides, cause women and men often tend to take a different approach to new tricks. But be careful, don’t make a competition out of it … as long as it’s not a funny one.
A final note: This article is not meant to be dogmatical in any way. The issue should be considered with a little wink! Of course I am aware that by far not all kitecouples are affected by these problems. And that it can also happen the other way round. Therefore I am interested in your personal experiences :
Did you find yourself in such a situation or do you know someone who have been affected? Let me know your stories!
A little tip: You can find the main article about kitesurfing and relationship here.